Haryana police should first learn how to deal with women before it begins its school campaign

The following news item in today's Times of India caught my attention. I could not help but think of Ruchika and what one of Haryana's top cops did to a young girl.

And also how Haryana policemen are among the most gender insensitive of men I have encountered.  And now, they are going to reach out to school girls! Hope the police force has been sensitised enough before being allowed access to the girls, especially those who are being sexually harassed and molested.

Read the newsitem

Haryana police reach out to girls, place drop boxes in schools for complaints


ROHTAK: Haryana police have decided to reach out to girls in every school in the state to get their feedback and complaints about incidents of sexual abuse and harassment with them. The police, in association with the education department, will launch a special drive to interact with the girls. They also plan to place feedback boxes in each school for girls to drop their complaints into them. The feedback from girls of six government schools in Rewari has stirred the police into action. During a special campaign undertaken earlier this ...link ....

A three-year-old this time

New Delhi: A three-year-old girl was drugged and raped by the husband of a playschool owner in Delhi, police said Thursday. The accused has been arrested. Click here to read further.


The depravity never stops. Another case, this time a three year old raped in Delhi. What is wrong with these men? Have they lost all control over themselves?

Delhi gangrape and mindset of the rapists

In continuation of my earlier post...
Another gangrape in Delhi, how will we act?



"...The men on the bus taunted the woman for being out at night with a man".  When he tried to protect her, they attacked him with an iron rod.  The medical student tried to help him, but was beaten and then gang-raped. 

- as reported by NDTV.


These men could not tolerate the mere presence of a woman with a man of her choice. They felt that they should attack her, and the man who was with her. For in the society they come from, women are denied personal freedoms and the freedom to move around. Fathers, brothers, uncles think they have the right to use violence over women to get them to do what they want. Domestic and sexual violence is the norm.

But it is okay for them to drink, to take joy rides in a bus, which was supposed to be off the road at that time, rape and maim. They see nothing wrong with that!

What does this say about the mindset of such men? How do we change it?

Another gangrape in Delhi, how will we act?

My prayers are with the 23-year-old physiotherapist who was gang raped in a moving bus, beaten with a blunt object, stripped and pushed out of the vehicle and left to die on the road in Delhi on December 16. Her friend, who was accompanying her, was also beaten up and thrown out of the bus. The young woman is battling for her life. I hope she recovers to see justice done to her.

Such cases have become the norm in the city. They are just happening so often. And it is spreading to other parts of the country. In this blog a lot has been said about this societal illness that grips Indian society today.

On the television show, Newshour, last night, Arnab Goswami repeatedly asked if women in Delhi feel safe. He wanted women to call in. There was just one woman caller from Delhi. What can the women in Delhi say? It has been said just so often - Delhi is extremely unsafe and unfriendly to women. As a woman who has grown up and lives in this city, I say - A woman always feels insecure in Delhi. Never mind the fact that we have a woman for a chief minister, and many women occupying important and high posts as ministers and in the bureaucracy.

For the rot is in the minds of the society. (Check out this story) It is the whole way in which  women are viewed that translates into their inhuman treatment. Killed by parents in the womb when they discover that the foetus is female; neglected as a girl child (the best the family can afford goes to the boy and it is the leftovers for the girl); made to feel like an object, whose sole purpose in life is to be a good wife and daughter-in-law;  treated shabbily by the law-enforcing agencies, so badly that she is scared to enter a police station to even complaint. And if she does, the custodians of law may misbehave with her. Lax laws and judgements that make a mockery of her plight.

Delhi, overrun by men from areas where the khap panchayats rule, by classes that have no value for a female life, it is no wonder that India's capital can be called The Rape Capital. A couple of rape cases are reported everyday. Many, many must be going unreported.

What should be the punishment for the rapists? I will not say "Let the law take its course", for justice in India like its law enforcers have shown scant respect for women. Cases take years to be tried and then the accused cannot be brought to book as the police often fails to properly record the case and collect evidence. And even when they do, the judge may take a warped view and let the acused off. So the message society gets - It is okay to misbehave with a woman! That is how we show our manhood!

So what should be done? The women of the city and concerned citizens have to step in. Shame the rapists. Picket in front of their houses. Let everyone know who they are. Demand that they be thrown out of their jobs, ensure that if they are unmarried, no one ever marries their daughter to them, ever. A convicted rapist should be debarred from a government job for the rest of his life. And private organisations pressurised not to employ them ever. This can be ensured by women's groups and neighbours. The punishment meted out by the society should be a deterrent in itself. The way things are in India today, only the society can act. Only it can ensure that the rapists never live in peace.

Some earlier posts on the issue in this blog -
Justice dispensers - Who will make them see sense?

Rape fastest growing crime in India

Loved this ad!

 FOR the SPUNK, the SPIRIT, and the STEEL!
And I like the way Asha Hansda stands. Cheers!

The ad has great copy.
The matter under the first two lines is-

Because, unskilled women employees like Asha Hansda are trained to operate heavy vehicles and machinery under Tata Steel's Tejaswini programme.
Because we believe gender should never be a reason not to be.
Because, for us, it doesn't matter where she comes from, but where she can reach.
Because she is one of our own.
Because we can't fly if she crawls.
Because we started thinking of ways to better her life over a hundred years ago.
Because it's not just a company policy, it's an unwavering belief.
Because, each time she confidently smiles, our belief finds strength.
Because however strong our steel may be, our values remain stronger.

Wish we get to see more meaningful ads like this!
I must however say that I love the sari. But it is a dress that can be highly impractical depending on the task. 



Some sensitive rules to enable sexually abused children to get justice

Finally, we are going to see some change in the way child rape victims are treated by the state and their cases tried. It is indeed, harrowing for children who have been abused to testify in court and come face to face with the abuser. A child sensitve set of rules has been put in place.
But have the lawyers and judges been sensitised? And the cops who will be handling such cases?
Let us see how things go from here, and the punishment that will be given to child abusers.

Men in power and their views on sex and rape

I thought India had more than its share of mad men occupying positions of power who were so messed up in the manner in which they viewed women. But with Republican Senate candidate Todd Akin's priceless comments on "legitimate and illegitimate rape", we can safely assume that such men are everywhere. Here is an interesting post by Kritika Kapoor of  The Times of India -  Bizarre things politicos say about sex, rape

Another article worth a read is what appeared in the Chicago Sun Times about Rep. Todd Akin’s comments proving the need for sex ed in schools. We in India need to do so in our schools too! But our legislators who have been caught watching sleazy videos during assembly sessions, are quick to strike down any suggestion for sex education for the youngsters.

What a way to treat a child! Religious bigots at their worst

The story of a 10-year-old Christian girl getting arrested for allegedly burning pages of a Quran is very sad. Though it has happened in Pakistan, it should concern us all. For it shows religious bigotry as it exists and the shameful manner in which children are treated in our world today.

It has not yet been proved that the little girl burnt the pages. Only that the book with burnt pages was found on her. Even if she had burnt the book, should a child be arrested and neighbours bay for her blood?  Isn't there a more civilised way of making the child realise that what she did was wrong?

By arresting her, all that has been achieved is that religious bigotry has been strengthened. What a shame! How should society handle such a case? Any suggestions?
Read the full story at - http://www.indianexpress.com/news/christian-girl-arrested-in-pakistan-for-blasphemy/990656/

One terrible story that ended well

This morning I read about a father and an uncle trying to bury a little sick girl alive because they wanted a male child. A tantric had told them if they did that, the father would get a healthy male child. It never fails to amaze me  what Indians can do, even kill their girls, in their quest for a son. This severe attachment to the son manifests itself often in exercising more control over him, over his wife, keeping the couple under scrutiny lest the son is led 'wayward' by the daughter-in-law and hence out of their control. Being a son in India has tremendous advantages,  but I am sure it comes with a lot of baggage. That is one reason why many Indian men never grow up. They remain mama's boys forever! But that is matter for another post.

Talking about killing your own baby girl. Here is another heart rending story of a girl whose father tried to kill her. But she survived, thanks to her maternal grandparents. And today she is working for the cause of women in rural Maharashtra. The terrible story has a happy ending. Thank God that there are some humans among us!

A magic potion to control your temper

One of my favourite quotes. It is by Gandhi and if you have an issue controlling your temper, recall it and it brings  immediate relief. I paste here the magic quote:

When you are in the right you can afford to keep your temper, and when you are in the wrong, you  cannot afford to lose it.

I have tried and tested it. It works. Try it for yourself!