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DID LOVE TRIUMPH OR FAIL?

A blue sequined dupatta was wound around her face. Only her eyes could be seen. She had collected the medicines from the chemist and was coming down the steps as I went in. If I had not been so preoccupied with my problems, I might have thought she looked rather strange. Why would a woman cover her face so?

But stranger still: She called out my name. I turned towards her. Who was she and how did she know me?

If only the dupatta would come undone. If only she would pull it off…I would recognize her... “Tanu. I am Tanu,” she was saying by way of explanation.

“Tanu who?” I asked. This was like the film magazines of my younger days or the MTV of today that give you snapshots of body parts and then ask who they belong to.

The summer breeze played with the edges of the dupatta that fell on her shoulders. But so deftly was it wrapped around her face that it would take a demon of a wind to unwind it.…. She lifted her eyes to stare back at me.

Oh yes! I had met the eyes. In the hospital next to Mami’s bed. It was THE TANU. “How are you?” I asked.

“I am back at the hospital. I am getting admitted today. Another operation.” I looked over her shoulder and in the vicinity beyond hoping to see him. And he was there, standing a little away as he always did. Quiet. Distant, but watchful. If he recognized me, he did not show it...

Tanu had sharp chiseled features framed by a thick curtain of straight hair, which she tied in a loose ponytail. Her lips were an inverted C, pulled down at the corners, like the arc of a bow. But every now and then, they would lift into a captivating smile, keeping you hooked.

Tanu had occupied the bed next to Lakshmi Mami's at the hospital. I had been struck by her perfect features when I first saw her six months ago as she lay absolutely still under the heavy blanket. She looked young and very forlorn, I couldn't help asking her why she was there. She uttered just one word, "Operation" and looked away. She clearly did not wish to speak.

During my daily hour-long visits over the ten days that Mami spent at the hospital, Tanu opened up. To tell me the story of her life. A strange tale of longing, deceit, acceptance and love…

Now, as I stood facing her at the chemist, I wanted to ask her about him. The man who never visited, but who she called everyday. The man who she would talk to late into the night even after the nurses had turned down the lights, while the other man sat quietly on the attendant’s bed and watched.

Had HE come with her this time?
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Dear Reader,
Does this blurb make you want to read the true life story? If yes, do send me a message at shreevenkatram@yahoo.com . I would value your opinion. I am trying my hand at a short story for the first time and your reaction would give me an indication if  I am set on the right track!

An acid attack is worse than murder for it makes life a living hell

This was one of those posts that I began and then gave up midway. It was lying as a 'draft' for months. And for the past few days, ever since Preeti Rathi's case made the headlines,  I have been thinking a lot on the subject of acid attacks.

Acid attacks is one of the most barbaric crimes. In India, the perpetrators are usually men who cannot take ‘no’ for an answer and so seek to destroy the woman. The crime is so horrific that the woman is disfigured for life. She loses her identity, her future and with it the will to live. Everything is destroyed and some victims have described the attack apart from the searing pain, physical torture and disfigurement, as something worse than death.

Every other day we hear of an acid attack on a young woman. Delhi alone saw 56 acid attacks over a span of three months.

The recent amendments to the law give ten years to a maximum of life imprisonment to the criminal for destroying another human being. The punishment should be for life, nothing less! There shouldn't be bail for such a horrific crime. A person who can willfully destroy another human being in this fashion, is very dangerous to have around and should be behind bars.

Even though the Justice Verma committee had recommended life imprisonment for the culprits, our law makers reduced it to ten years of imprisonment and some fine. The new law has nothing on the rehabilitation of the victim, who needs to spend on reconstructive surgery, usually falls into depression, and finds it hard to get employment and carry on a normal life. Till date, there has been no effort to curb the sale of the corrosive acid which is very easy to procure and available in every market.

Why is there such leniency towards the culprits? All I can say is that our law makers have failed to feel the pain and the horror of an acid attack and what it can do to a woman. They have done nothing for her rehabilitation.

Recent cases of acid attacks
http://www.hindustantimes.com/India-news/UttarPradesh/Acid-attack-on-4-sisters-in-UP-one-risks-losing-sight/Article1-1036574.aspx

http://www.thehindu.com/news/national/other-states/vinodhini-karaikal-acid-attack-victim-dies/article4406780.ece

The new law does not help victims
http://www.hindustantimes.com/India-news/NewDelhi/Acid-attacks-New-law-hikes-punishment-but-doesn-t-help-victims/Article1-1038797.aspx

And this - Acid attacks in Italy - http://www.thedailybeast.com/witw/articles/2013/05/13/acid-attacks-against-women-on-the-rise-in-italy.html

An American son -in-law or an American daughter-in-law? Any guesses, who Indians prefer?

Indians settled in the United States have a saying, "If you are lucky you will get an American son-in-law, and if unlucky,  you will get an American daughter-in-law!'

And in this statement lies the essence of India's traditions, so bound against the woman. An American son-in-law is welcome for he will behave like a normal human being, expect no  dowry, no special favours , and not expect to be treated like a demi-god. He will help your daughter around the house, and when he comes over for a visit or even a meal he will share the chores and  wash the dishes. What a relief in a country where there are no servants!

But an American daughter-in-law would also behave like a normal human being, not sacrificing her interests, or subjugating her will, or herself to her in-laws who expect to be treated as the most important people in her life. She will not let them take all her decisions -  what she should wear,   what she should cook for her husband, when she should have a child, how she should look after the baby, what food to give the baby, when she should visit her family and friends ... the list can go on. The poor in-laws! She has robbed them of all the pleasures they thought would be theirs when they became the parents of a boy, their ticket to lifelong security, salvation and a pretty gilded slave, to carry out all their biddings!

What is more, the American daughter-in-law doesn't even bring dowry, and worse, makes their precious son work in the kitchen and around the house. Indian mothers, as you know, cannot bear the sight of their sons in the kitchen.

So great is the longing for a son among Indian parents, that they do not hesitate to do away with the daughter. For in these days of high costs it is expensive bringing up a child and who wants daughters when they would rather have a son. So as Indian families become smaller, the girl is sacrificed. Like this father in Hyderabad tried to do. Even as I write, somehow calling him a 'father' seems so bizarre.  A person like him should be called a fiend and put behind bars. But no, in our society behaving in this shocking way against the female of the species is tolerated. The sympathy is with the poor man for being saddled with a daughter!

Another heart-warming story

Another heart warming story of India's children. With just a little guidance, this is what they can achieve -

A rag picker enters the National Institute of Design and wants to design automobiles. But first he wants to design an aid that will reduce the burden of the LPG delivery man as he struggles with a cylinder over flights of stairs.

Why is it that such an aid has not been desgined before? We have had the LPG cyclinders for over 50 years now and the delivery man has been struggling since then with his heavy burden.No one thought of it before, least of all the oil companies.

I wonder why is that so? Is it because no one thinks of the hardship of the poor? Of  how life can be made just a little comfortable for them?

Read this story in The Times of India - http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/ahmedabad/Destinys-design-Rag-picker-makes-it-to-NID/articleshow/20009704.cms

The rising cases of child sexual abuse

Every day, we are horrified by the many cases of sexual abuse of children which are being reported. They have become a sickening reality of our times. One that shows the rot in our society, of how maladjusted some of us are. Girls and even little boys are no longer safe even in their own homes.

I recently read a very comprehensive article on the subject and am providing the link. It also has some suggestions.
http://newindianexpress.com/magazine/How-safe-is-your-daughter/2013/04/28/article1560480.ece

Proud of you, Zubeen Garg!

Good to know we have an artiste who can stand up and fight for what he believes in. And that he will not be censored.

The United Liberation Front for Assam ( or ULFA),  true to its form, issued a ban on performing Hindi songs during a function in Guwahati to celebrate Bihu, the Assamese new year.  While other musicians gave in to the diktat, not Zubeen. He is reported to have said, "No power can dictate an artiste. We have our own freedom. I have earned nationwide fame singing Hindi songs. It is our national language. Who are they to say Hindi songs will destroy Assamese culture. It is an outdated ridiculous idea."

So proud of you Zubeen Garg! You sing so well in Hindi. I believe you can sing in many Indian languages and sound like the native. I would love to hear you sing in Assamese too. I wish we had more music festivals all over the country where singers from different parts of the country sing in different languages.

Great art in any form,  while it may have strong local roots, reaches for the world.  It can't and shouldn't be curbed.

Music knows no boundaries.  Glad you stood your ground against the rowdy censors!

More links to posts on Rowdy Censorship
Extremists frigthen us into silence  
A film maker who stood up to the rowdy censors

Zubeen provided security

We can't see women do what they want

The Indian society has an issue. It cannot see women enjoy themselves. So used are they to images of long suffering women who sacrifice their happiness in the interest of their families, that when they see women out for an evening, wearing clothes they want, enjoying a drink, they are unable to come to terms with it. Be it the Mufti (religious leader) in Kashmir or the media in Andhra. Be it the north or the south of India, the mindset is the same. Could vary in degrees!

I was very disappointed in the media which did a story on these bunch of girls coming out of a restaurant in Hyderabad. They were made out to be a bunch of drunk women by the regional media. To me they seem very upset over being filmed without their permission. And why should anyone just take their pictures?

Is there a shortage of stories for the media to cover? Just get out of your comfort zone and see the tragedy all around --farmers killing themselves, women dying in childbirth, children who are out of school, women being tortured for dowries, poverty, ill health , corruption, a whole lot of negative stories. And if you want to be positive, capture our hardworking people using their imagination to survive, honest citizens doing their best to live a dignified life, parents working hard to give their children a decent education, scientists, industrialists, the music, the dance...

Where is the dearth of stories for the media?
At the same time, I am very encouraged that these young women have decided to fight for their right to be, and are demanding compensation from all the channels which strangely cannot find a worthwhile story to do, that  they have to pounce on women out for an evening. 

The Aarushi - Hemraj murder case

As a former journalist, I am deeply ashamed at the manner in which the Indian media covered the Aarushi-Hemraj murder case.
As an Indian, I am very disturbed by the manner in which the police conducted itself, the lack of professionalism that it exhibited and the way the investigative agencies goofed up. It is frigthening and does not bode well.
As a woman, I grieve for her parents, the Talwars.
And as a human being, I wish the murderers are found and punished.

I am giving you the link to one of the most poignant and balanced accounts I have read about the murder case. It is written by  Shree Paradkar, a cousin of Aarushi's mother, Nupur. It must have been tough for Paradkar to do the story. How do you maintain professionalism when you are emotionally connected? But she has shown it can be done.

The link to the article - http://www.thestar.com/news/world/2013/01/26/aarushi_talwar_murder_a_look_at_one_of_indias_most_notorious_cases.html

Now, a ebook on the case by her -
http://www.thestar.com/news/stardispatches/2014/02/19/ebook_excerpt_betrayed_my_cousins_wrongful_conviction_for_the_murder_of_her_daughter_aarushi.html

Ford: dented and painted!

A sexist ad?

Sure! Repulsive too.

Why do car manufacturers have to use female bodies to sell cars? Are the features of their cars not good enough? When a car company has to use props like these, here a disgraced public figure too, wont you stop to think Why?

We are told that Ford got a big boot - three grown up women together in one!

 Now, who would want a car which gets driven by a criminal and treats its female passengers so badly that it puts them in the boot? Only a senile person.

Ford has apologized. The ad company has fired the creators of this masterpiece. Now this is where I will use a very Indian phrase, espoused by none other than our President's son: "dented and painted" for this car manufacturer and this whole ad episode.    

More gang rapes and a new law

Today three ghastly stories of  rape were reported. Two of them were of gang rape, and one was about a sessions court announcing the punishment for the founder of a home for orphans in Mumbai who had raped the inmates under his care, often with accomplices.  Each of these stories is a chilly reminder of how unsafe it is to be a girl or a woman in India. These crimes come in the wake of the gang rape of a Swiss tourist as she camped with her husband in Madhya Pradesh and a British tourist who jumped from the  first floor balcony of her hotel when the owner tried to assault her.  

Links to the three articles -

http://www.hindustantimes.com/India-news/MadhyaPradesh/MP-Girls-gangraped-in-front-of-family/Article1-1029575.aspx

 

http://www.hindustantimes.com/India-news/UttarPradesh/Ghaziabad-19-yr-old-flags-share-auto-near-Shipra-Mall-is-gangraped/Article1-1022162.aspx

http://www.hindustantimes.com/India-news/Mumbai/Death-for-Mumbai-orphanage-founder-for-rape/Article1-1030227.aspx



But today, there is a difference. For along with the these terrible cases was the news was that the Upper House of Parliament, Rajya Sabha,  had passed the anti-rape law which provides for stringent punishment to offenders of sexual violence, and makes stalking a crime in India (for the first time and high time!)

The law is somewhat a watered down version of the recommendations made by the Justice Verma Committee. The debate in Lok Sabha saw our elected legislators sniggering, laughing, making outrageous comments during discussions on the bill. It showed the mindsets of the persons we elect as leaders  A very sad commentary, indeed. But I am a born optimist and I see the new law as a step in the right direction. Look: At least they found the time to discuss the issue, which had been pushed into oblivion by our political worthies for decades. It took the very tragic and brutal death of a student following a gang rape  in a bus that moved on the streets of  South Delhi to to shake the country out of its stupor. If this could happen in South Delhi,  India's poshest area, what would be the situation be for women elsewhere? Shudder!

Our leaders showed their utter ignorance of the reality for the Indian woman by making stupid outrageous remarks. Wish women could band together and see that men like these never get elected for another term. I think the time is coming when this will be a reality. The out-of-sync leaders will be shaken off as dead wood. And it will be the urban  young educated women and men who will be leading the charge. We saw the wonderful and spontaneous way they came out demanding that the country be made safer for women.  

The law that was passed could have been stiffer. Why  are the perpetrators of acid attacks not being given life imprisonment? The number of women in India who become victims to acid attacks by men who cannot take 'no' for an answer is just too large to be ignored. These women are scarred for life. And the man receives little or no punishment, and goes about living a normal life. It is sad that the legislators did not view the crime with the seriousness it deserves. 

And marital rape failed to find mention. Also, even boys are raped. I have come across brutal cases of homosexuals having been  raped, two of them by policemen!

But I am glad that our legislators have at least started noticing that crime against woman needs to be tackled. And have started talking about the issue. The safety of our girls and women, and of those who come to this land as visitors, should be given paramount importance. For a home, or a country, where women feel unsafe has a lot to introspect on.