Surviving and enjoying Delhi: A guide for foreign women travellers to India

15 safety tips for foreign women travellers to India - From a woman who grew up and lives in Delhi, one of the most hostile cities for women 

Recent cases of rape and harassment of female tourists are scaring women from visiting India. Tourist numbers have fallen, more so of women travelling alone. Do not let these instances put you off from visiting and discovering India. 

India is a country like no other – unique, culturally rich, with strong religious roots, philosophically overpowering, with hoary traditions, a medley of colours, smells, many culinary traditions, a rich cultural heritage, exquisite dances, many musical forms, stunning sculptures, gorgeous textiles, rich embroideries, skilled crafts…. 

Delhi, its capital is equally exciting. It is a city like no other. It has great old monuments, dating back thousands of years. It is a city that lives history. Every day. History is part of Delhi life: Old Fort, Qutub Minar, Red Fort, Humayun’s Tomb, Lodhi Gardens, Mughal Gardens (if you come at the right season to see them in their glory), India Gate, Rashtrapati Bhavan…. It has some great bazaars and markets where you can spend hours shopping or just looking at the wares….Chandni Chowk, Dariba Kalaan, Sarojini Nagar, Janpath, Lajpat Nagar ….. And if you can stomach it, sample Delhi’s culinary traditions at Paranthewale Galli, Old Delhi, Pandara Road market …

Discovering Delhi                 Photo by Naveen Sarma  Protected by copyright

Discovering Delhi          Photo by Naveen Sarma Protected by copyright

All this can be yours to discover and enjoy provided you follow some safety precautions: 

1. While walking on the pavements, do not make eye contact with a stranger. Ditto at a restaurant. Men here could mistake it for an invitation. And then you could have a louse making your life miserable. 

2. While walking, chose the side where you can see the traffic come in your direction. Do not walk in the direction of the flow of the traffic. There have been instances of women being pulled into vehicles. As long as you can see what is coming in front of you, you can be on your guard. 

3. People here do stare. On the roads and public places you will encounter men who have little or no education and are not exposed much to foreigners. So someone who dresses differently attracts attention. Preferably wear trousers, long skirts or an Indian dress like a salwar kameez. Do not display your legs or wear deep necklines. Men here can’t handle them! Though this dress code is no guarantee that you will not be pawed or groped, you will certainly attract less attention to yourself. And with it less of the leering men. 

4. Do not ask strangers, especially single men or a group of men, for directions. It is best to seek out a family group or a cop in that order of preference. 

5. Avoid walking on deserted, badly lit stretches. Or taking an auto or taxi through one. Always keep to the main road, avoid bylanes. Keep a map handy. And the name, address and telephone numbers of the place you are staying in and of local contacts you may have. 

6. In case you find someone stalking you, seek out a group of women, or a family group and tell them about it. Women will understand your problem. Indian families do go out of their way to help. But do seek out young and smart women. Older women steeped in tradition, could be just too shy to respond or may not speak English. 

7. In case someone touches you inappropriately, yell and attract attention. Carry and use a pepper spray. Do not be scared of using your voice. It is your best defence. Most of the time you will find the creep sauntering away. 

8. You may even have strange men coming up to you and saying hello. Do not feel compelled to reply. Do what Indian women would do – Ignore them. Pretend you never heard and carry on with what you were doing. And if a strange man waves at you, please do not wave back. You may be inviting unwanted attention. 

9. When you check into a hotel room, do ensure that all door and window bolts are in working order. You should be able to lock yourself in. See that the windows are barred, to rule out any intruder entry. Your door should have a safely chain or a peephole. 

10. In a hotel room, keep the door open when a waiter or house staff enters. Station yourself near the door till the attendant has finished the job he has come for. 

11. Do not accept food from strangers. It could be laced with drugs. 

12. Always note down the number of the autorickshaw or taxi you use. And pass it on to a local contact loudly so that the driver hears it. 

13. Do not share the front seat of the taxi or auto with the driver. It is not done in India. Use the back passenger seat. By sharing the driver’s seat you send out a wrong signal. 

14. Be selective and discerning about taking up invitations to people’s homes while trying to make friends. Meet and get to know your new friends in a public place. 

15. Do not give the impression of being too friendly or approachable. It is better to be aloof and safe. If you find a hotel staff member or the owner getting too friendly move out to another hotel. 

Some of my friends and I have decided to offer local guide services to women travelling alone or in small groups to discover Delhi. In case you are interested you could get in touch with me at - shreevenkatram@yahoo.com . 

Alexis Lai,a journalist at CNN.com’s Hong Kong bureau has this to say about her travels in India - Should solo female travelers avoid India?

More on the warped mindsets of judges

On my blog I have dealt with the warped mindsets of judges in India and other countries while dealing with cases of crime against women. However, I was very happy to note a two–member bench of the Delhi High Court actually expunging two remarks by a judge of a fast track court who had made "gender biased" and "insensitive" comments about women. The Delhi High Court stated that such comments should not be made. Referring to the judge's comment that women in the age group of 19-24 years voluntarily elope with their lovers, the bench said the remark is "not based on any empirical data". To read further, log on to the Times of India report. Meanwhile, we have a bizarre judgment. This one comes from the United States of America. A US court actually gave a rapist parental rights over the child born of that rape! With the order, a young girl who was 14 when she was raped and became pregnant, becomes bound to the man she wants nothing to do with. The plaintiff and her mother repeatedly informed state officials that they wanted no contact with the man for any purpose and that they did not want the child born of the crime to have a relationship with him. But their pleas were ignored. Patriarchal mindsets completely negate the feelings of the woman and the crime done to her! To read about the case log on to - http://www.alternet.org/news-amp-politics/raped-and-impregnated-14-girl-must-now-share-parental-rights-her-attacker . Shannon Argueta from the US discusses rape culture and weird judgments at: http://www.addictinginfo.org/2013/08/28/rapist-to-serve-30-day-sentence-after-judge-blames-deceased-teenage-victim/ This is what she says: "This is an unbelievable example of rape culture in this country. This judge is blaming a child for her own rape. When did it become the victim’s fault? When did the law stop expecting rapists to control themselves? This man raped that child; Sexual intercourse without consent is rape! The judge convicted him of rape and then said that the victim was just as much in control of the situation as the perpetrator? I would laugh at the logic if I weren’t so disgusted. Children CANNOT consent to sex! That is why we have laws that are supposed to protect them and acknowledge that they are not mature enough to make that sort of decision. It doesn’t matter if a 14-year-old looks like she is 34. It doesn’t matter if she is mature for her age; A 14-year-old is still a child." In India judges have actually condoned the rape of babies! Yes, you read it right. Here is the link to some shocking judgments and pronouncements by our judges:http://shreevenkatram.blogspot.in/2010/03/shame-six-month-old-baby-girl-raped.html http://shreevenkatram.blogspot.in/2011/09/my-article-on-recent-judgments-on-rape.html http://shreevenkatram.blogspot.in/2012/01/rape-molestation-and-judgement.html http://shreevenkatram.blogspot.in/2012/02/justice-dispensers-who-will-make-them.html

The Delhi Bar Council must act

Really glad that the Delhi Bar Council is taking a serious view of the utterances by defence lawyer A P Singh on the 23-year-old victim in the December 16 gangrape case in which she lost her life. The lawyer for two of the convicts is reported to have said, "...if my daughter was having premarital sex and moving around at night with her boyfriend, I would have burnt her alive. I would not have let this situation happen. All parents should adopt such an attitude."
A few questions for him - 1. Is there anything called 'adulthood' in his lexicon? The woman was an adult, free to choose who she wanted to be with, go out with.
2.Does the fact that a woman is out at night with or without a man, give the right to men who come across her to rape her?
3. Why hasn't he made such statements about the men who raped? Were they habitual rapists? Did they indulge in pre and post marital sex? Why is this not being talked about?
4. He would have burnt his daughter alive, he says. What would he do if his son indulged in premarital sex? Boast that he had arrived? Is finally a man?
5. As a lawyer he is extolling parents to kill their daughters. What is wrong with this man?
6. Is he actually advocating that girls be locked up, not allowed to go out so that such situations do not happen? As a lawyer, instead of advocating basic human rights, he is actually preaching that theto freedom of movement, the right to decide who to be with etc etc are curtailed!

I am waiting to see how the Delhi Bar Council will act.

To see the growing frustration of women with the judicial and police systems, watch this video, where a woman hits out at her molester. 

Of sexual harassment and gang rapes in India

Another gang  rape. This time in Mumbai. Mumbai, as I used to know it way back in the mid-Seventies was a secure place for women. Unlike Delhi, I could stay out late, board a late night bus, which I often did after my office duty as a journalist, and feel safe. Unlike Delhi, the men in Mumbai were better behaved. They did not grope and pass lewd comments. They were comfortable with women around and did not make them feel like strange objects to be stared at. A taxi driver once went out of his way to drop me to my destination during a particularly heavy monsoon shower, when the city had become waterlogged and came practically to a halt. My attempts at waving taxis to stop was proving futile, for they all had passengers. And then he came along. He told me he was on his way home, but he would drop me at my place, which was in a different direction. To my great surprise he did not ask me for any extra fare.

That was the Mumbai I knew, a safer city for women. But over the years, instead of becoming better, it has deteriorated, become an unsafe metro. This ghastly crime, as well as the New Year assaults on women, show that the city of  Mumbai has sunk to the same pit as Delhi!

This comes soon after a Canadian student on a study tour of India, described her harrowing experience of being in India. What she described and what has driven her into depression so severe that she has to seek treatment for  it, is what Indian women face day in and day out. It is the price they have to pay for "stepping out" of their homes into work spaces, or just to enjoy a movie or eat out. The sad tragedy is that the criminals get seldom punished. Eight months later, despite a fast track special court and the public outrage, the bunch of men who raped the Delhi girl on a bus, are still to be punished. One demon ended his life. Probably he was shamed to face the world! We have had some people clamour for showing leniency to another who was not yet 18! But the act he committed was not an act any child would commit. The hearings are still on.... We are awaiting punishment for the gang of goons. The state has yet to act on behalf of a young girl who lost her life in a most brutal way and her friend who was beaten up. And as we wait, another gang rape.

Why doesn't India act decisively for once? And tell the women that it cares for them!

Take acid attacks seriously - they are worse than murder

I was very dismayed to read Annu Mukherjee's story in the Hindustan Times today. The young woman had surmounted many hurdles to make a decent life for herself and her brother. The acid attackers not only snatched away her means to a livelihood, disfigured and blinded her, but threw her into facing a lonely tragic life. Her brother, who she was was supporting had to stop his studies.  What was extremely heart wrenching was that the attackers also took away Annu's ability to cry. Her eyes have been so disfigured that tears do not come anymore.

And  what was the punishment the attackers got? Five years in jail and a Rs 1,60,000 fine. Today they are roaming free. An inadequate punishment for disfiguring a woman for life, blinding her, snatching away her identity and only source of income, leaving her to a life of penury and loneliness.

The attackers should have been behind bars for life. For they are extremely dangerous to be let out in society. Now that they have been freed, they should be made to contribute towards her medical and living expenses. Fifty per cent of what Meena Khan and her brother earn should go to Annu till she is in a position to support herself by opening the dance school she wants. What do you say?

Earlier post: An acid attack is wrose than murder for it makes life a living hell

And this news item  -

SC curbs acid sale, orders more money for victims

Serving a poison free meal to our children

The Bihar midday meal tragedy in which over 20 children died after consuming a meal laced with pesticide prepared in their school brings home many well known facts -

1. The facilities in majority of our government run schools are so poor, be it classroom itself, the playground, or the quality of teachers, that it is a crime to call it a school.
2. Providing some sub standard grain and hoping the health of the children improves is a fallacy. Borne out by the fact that even after years of the midday meal scheme, large proportions of Indian children are undernourished, underweight and stunted.
3. The communities these schools serve are so poor and disempowered that they cannot demand their rights to a nourishing, hygienically cooked meal for their children.
4. Therefore, when there are no proper utensils for cooking, or storage, or adequate rations, there is no protest from them or a demand for what is their right.
5. The persons who are enstrusted with the job of preparing the meal get no training in hygiene. India's poor are forced to live in extremely unhygenic conditions and being illiterate and uneducated, they often do not know how such conditions impact their health. In the Bihar case, the person who put the oil in the pesticide container, probably did not realise that pesticide can kill. Probably the person did not know that pesticide should be stored away from food.
And when the children protested over the taste and look of the food cooked, the principal forced them to eat saying nothing could be wrong as the oil had come from her husband's shop.


A question that bothers is why was a pesticide container kept next to the school rations in the first place?


The Bihar government is planning to paint the midday meal safety norms on the walls. Would that help? What happens if the cook is illiterate?
What would help is -

A course in basic hygiene and food storage.

Regular checks by a monitoring team, which should be the members from the community whose children study in the school, or the Village Health and
Sanitation committee or an equivalent local body in the urban areas.

Something that has been seen to work, to improve the standard of the food cooked and served is the involvement of the mothers of the school-going children, be it in procurement, storage and cooking of the rations. It has worked in many parts of Tamil Nadu and I wrote about it three years ago when I saw the state's midday meal programme.

If it can work there, it should work in other states including Bihar, and Uttar Pradesh, home to many midday meal scandals. But for that the 'control' or to use a politically correct word 'management' of the scheme should be in the hands of the parents. The government's role should be of a provider and facilitator, the parents and a teacher representative would be the implementators -- lifting of the rations provided only if they meet a certain quality,  preparing and serving  of the meals. 


More on -
India's midday meal programme
WHO had asked India to ban toxin that killed children

This is what makes India special

A lot has been said about India's politicians and her land mafia and their rapacious greed which stops at nothing. The cloudburst, and the floods and landslides that have followed in Uttarakhand and parts of Himachal, were exacerbated by the doings of the politician-land mafia who have mindlessly plundered the region. Hundreds dead, tragedy after tragedy, house collapses, property worth crores lost, the unending suffering ...

Amidst all this, come stories of how our security forces have been helping out. If it were not for them and their selfless service, one shudders to think what more could  have happened. These men, have the nation's gratitude. However, we treat them badly. Our parliamentarians have grudged them small pay hikes, while giving themselves hefty increases. That is another story.

Here I want to focus on what makes India special. It is the generosity of the ordinary Indians. People who have little, but give it unstintingly. These are the people, who rush to help whenever tragedy strikes....while our politicians quibble over turf and upmanship and our rich are slow to open their purses.

I have put together stories that are indeed moving and celebrate that special quality we call humaneness:

Grocery store keeper and friends feed over 800 a day

Chennai pilgrims bring home a hero

Youth took charge

Villagers rescue 43 foreigners

Relief camps by locals

This one celebrates the IAF women pilots
IAF women pilots to the rescue

When marriage for a girl is more important than education

A news item in the Times of India:

Father kills daughter for refusing to marry

Some portions from the news item -

KANPUR: A man allegedly killed his 15-year-old girl for refusing to marry a boy of his choice at Virma in Uttar Pradesh's KanpurDehat on Tuesday evening. 

Police said the girl had apparently turned down the proposal saying she was young and wanted to study.

The girl was an intermediate student and had been staying with her maternal uncle in Gudha village to complete her studies. She had returned home for summer vacations.

A police officer said ever since she had returned home, Shukla had been pestering her to accept the marriage proposal.

So what does this say about the society -

• You should not have an opinion of your own girl. You dare not go against parental wishes. Father knows best. 
• He can even kill you for opposing him. 
• Marriage is more important than education.
• What use is education? Your role in society is to cook, look after your husband and his family,  and bear children.

This is the mindset that has to change. Until then....

Why does this happen?

Lover's family burns girl to death in front of panchayat

Yes, you read it right. The item appeared in Hindustan Times today and I am reproducing it below:

A woman was brutally assaulted and her daughter burnt alive in public view, and in the presence of the village panchayat, Uttar Pradesh Police said Friday. The incident occurred at Karahkol village of Deoria, 475 km from state capital Lucknow.
Police said a girl named Manju was in love with a boy named Ranjit of the same village. The boy's family opposed the relationship, and the matter was taken to the panchayat.

At the panchayat meeting, Manju's mother pleaded that since the two loved each other, they should be allowed to marry.
Incensed by the proposal, Jai Hind, Ranjit's father, and members of his family assaulted Manju's mother Gyanwati and rained blows and kicks on her.
Manju rushed to help her mother as she was being attacked, and members of Ranjit's family doused her with kerosene and set her on fire.
Police reached the spot on being informed of the incident. By that time, Manju, who was taken to a nearby medical facility, had died of burn injuries.
Seven people have been charged with the crime, and two of them have been arrested. Policemen said the absconding five would soon be nabbed.

Questions that have been bothering me:Why didn't anyone from the panchayat or from those who had gathered, try and prevent the boy's father from burning Manju alive? Or do anything to save her? And why did they not protest when her mother was being assaulted?

Shame on the panchayat members! Their mouths, hands and feet were self tied.
They failed to prevent the murder in front of their eyes.

They probably thought by keeping quiet they would be sending a strong message to the community:
Youngsters should not fall in love. 
They should not make independent decisions about their marriage. 
How dare the girl want to marry a man of her choice! 
How dare her mother support the young girl! 
For young girls should not have a say in who they marry. The elders know better. 
It is okay for a man to beat a woman.

The boy's father and other relatives who took part in the crime must be arrested and punished. But, all members of the panchayat in whose presence the murder took place are equally responsible. There is no mention, as yet, of any panchayat member being arrested. 

Please sign the petition -- Justice for Preeti Rathi

The life of Preeti Rathi, a young vivacious girl who was on the verge of starting a career as a nurse, was cut short by a  man who threw acid on her in Mumbai. She was injured so severely that she passed away after fighting a  month-long battle.

Preeti Rathi's father, Amar Singh Rathi,  is making an appeal that you sign the petition demanding an a CBI enquiry into who threw the acid on his daughter.  In his petition he says: " I demand justice for my daughter who suffered so much because of this criminal. After my daughter passed away, I met the home minister of Maharashtra, R.R.Patil, and demanded a CBI enquiry. He promised an enquiry but I have not been provided with any time frame for it. The enquiry has not even started yet.

With every passing day, the chance of nabbing the culprit is getting bleaker. I have started this petition to ensure that the Home Minister keeps his promise and the enquiry is started as soon as possible."

The rising number of acid attacks on young girls is a very worrying trend. Unfortunately, the punishment so far meted out to such criminals hardly matches the severity of the life-long damage they inflict on the women.