Incest can't be punished in India. The incestuous fathers will have to be tried for rape. By not having laws to deal with particular crimes, is a society's way of choosing not to see the crime. For at the root of it all is the so called sanctity of the family. An Indian family. And it raises uncomfortable questions and the society would rather not accost them. So pretend it does not exist.
It is the same with the media. If the media takes note of an issue it is an issue. If it chooses to ignore it, it becomes a non issue. There are so many non issues for the media today. For it chooses not to talk about them.
Showing posts with label dealing with taboos. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dealing with taboos. Show all posts
Saturday, 28 March 2009
Friday, 27 March 2009
Is the internet the new age shrink, guru and what have you
There is something about the internet. The anonymity that it offers to those who wish to remain so, and still seek out information, advice, or even give info and advice....
A young woman sexually exploited by her father, mother! and a former neighbour for nine long years, finally broke her silence and came out in the open telling her uncle about her ordeal. What made her do it was a friend on the net, who advised her to break free. Kudos to the friend. The journalists still do not have his name; all that we know is that he is a married man and gave her some very sound advice.
The 21-year-old could not tell anyone of her ordeal…suffering in silence… We learn that she did not study beyond Class 10 as her father did not let her continue with her education. But as he needed her to help him with his number plate design business, he taught her how to work the computer.
And she found a friend online, who we are informed she has never met. When her parents (her mother was an active accomplice) pushed her younger sister into having sex with their once-upon-a time neighbour Rathod, the older girl was very upset. She did not want her young sister to go through the misery she had been through for all these years. She told her friend on line who advised her to come out. And she did.
The story has a sequel. Seeing the coverage of the sordid tale set in Mumbai on the television, a college girl in Amritsar, sexually abused by her father (incidentally a political leader!!) took courage and went to the police.
The two instances show the power of modern communication tools. Subjects which were kept hidden, to be brushed under the carpet or in dark family closets, can now be brought out into the open, debated and discussed. If it had not been for the net and the TV, the girls would probably never have been able to speak against the beasts they had as their fathers.
The stories of incest are now appearing on the front pages of newspapers. I remember while doing a study on women and their portrayal in the media a good nine years ago, I came across a shocking news item - A judge in India actually gave a reprieve to a rapist, for he felt that the man was needed at home as he had daughters who were of marriageable age and his presence was necessary for their marriages to be arranged! And there was no public outcry against this insane decision. Not a word appeared in the papers against this mad judge. I wondered at the horror of it all. Wouldn’t the girls have been better off with the rapist father behind bars?
But such subjects were rarely discussed those days.
When Anuja Gupta, set up RAHI Foundation to help victims of incest around the same time, many of us marvelled at her for taking on such a tough task. How would she reach the victims? Or would they come to her?
Anuja’s organisation has been helping many young and old women who have survived incest. She was the one who told me, “Do not call them victims, they are survivors….”
We can only applaud the two young women survivors for speaking out against incest. It must have been terribly hard… The internet made it possible.
http://www.indianexpress.com/news/60yrold-held-in-mumbai-for-raping-daughter-over-9-yrs/436522/
http://www.worldlatestnews.com/nation-india/daughter-wants-death-for-rapist-dad
After all that courage that it takes for a girl to speak out, the support structures are so inadequate. This is an example of how the police and our law deals with such cases, making it all the more tough for girls to speak out.
http://ibnlive.in.com/news/no-chargesheet-rapist-dad-gets-bail/39509-3.html?from=search-relatedstories
A young woman sexually exploited by her father, mother! and a former neighbour for nine long years, finally broke her silence and came out in the open telling her uncle about her ordeal. What made her do it was a friend on the net, who advised her to break free. Kudos to the friend. The journalists still do not have his name; all that we know is that he is a married man and gave her some very sound advice.
The 21-year-old could not tell anyone of her ordeal…suffering in silence… We learn that she did not study beyond Class 10 as her father did not let her continue with her education. But as he needed her to help him with his number plate design business, he taught her how to work the computer.
And she found a friend online, who we are informed she has never met. When her parents (her mother was an active accomplice) pushed her younger sister into having sex with their once-upon-a time neighbour Rathod, the older girl was very upset. She did not want her young sister to go through the misery she had been through for all these years. She told her friend on line who advised her to come out. And she did.
The story has a sequel. Seeing the coverage of the sordid tale set in Mumbai on the television, a college girl in Amritsar, sexually abused by her father (incidentally a political leader!!) took courage and went to the police.
The two instances show the power of modern communication tools. Subjects which were kept hidden, to be brushed under the carpet or in dark family closets, can now be brought out into the open, debated and discussed. If it had not been for the net and the TV, the girls would probably never have been able to speak against the beasts they had as their fathers.
The stories of incest are now appearing on the front pages of newspapers. I remember while doing a study on women and their portrayal in the media a good nine years ago, I came across a shocking news item - A judge in India actually gave a reprieve to a rapist, for he felt that the man was needed at home as he had daughters who were of marriageable age and his presence was necessary for their marriages to be arranged! And there was no public outcry against this insane decision. Not a word appeared in the papers against this mad judge. I wondered at the horror of it all. Wouldn’t the girls have been better off with the rapist father behind bars?
But such subjects were rarely discussed those days.
When Anuja Gupta, set up RAHI Foundation to help victims of incest around the same time, many of us marvelled at her for taking on such a tough task. How would she reach the victims? Or would they come to her?
Anuja’s organisation has been helping many young and old women who have survived incest. She was the one who told me, “Do not call them victims, they are survivors….”
We can only applaud the two young women survivors for speaking out against incest. It must have been terribly hard… The internet made it possible.
http://www.indianexpress.com/news/60yrold-held-in-mumbai-for-raping-daughter-over-9-yrs/436522/
http://www.worldlatestnews.com/nation-india/daughter-wants-death-for-rapist-dad
After all that courage that it takes for a girl to speak out, the support structures are so inadequate. This is an example of how the police and our law deals with such cases, making it all the more tough for girls to speak out.
http://ibnlive.in.com/news/no-chargesheet-rapist-dad-gets-bail/39509-3.html?from=search-relatedstories
Sunday, 1 February 2009
The condom chant
I was happy to read the following newsitem:
Condom ringtone launched in India (published at the end of this post)
As a development communicator, I find it is very difficult to get people to change their attitudes. How do you go about it? One way is to make the uncomfortable, the taboo subject or word part of everyday vacabulary, make it commonplace.
I was happy to see the condom and the parrot ad on TV. It is done with a sense of fun and I am so glad that they put the sari clad mami in.
When I started out in journalism, way back in the late Seventies, the chief reporter, (now they call the breed Metro Editor) threw a fit when I used the word 'rape' in a news report. He struck it out and wrote "outraged a woman's modesty". I objected. "The phrase in no way states what the word 'rape' does," I told him. He said, "Our's is a respectable paper, we do not use words like that!" Even in the late Seventies and early Eighties, Delhi saw a number of incidents of rape. and everytime I reported on a case I used the word 'rape'. He finally stopped crossing it out!
Sexual harassment was referred to as 'eve-teasing', a terrible expression that masks the enormity of the crime and the way a woman feels when she is sexually harassed. I am glad to see that the terrible phrases have been knocked off from our vocabulary and reportage. Let us say it the way it is. A condom is a part of adult life. Let us behave like adults. Now all I wait for is: A R Rehman to set music to a song on condoms in a Bollywood tamasha. That would proclaim our ultimate comfort level.
Condom ringtone launched in India
August 2008:A cellphone ringtone that chants "condom, condom!" has been launched in India to promote safe sex and tackle the growing HIV/AIDS epidemic. The "condom a cappella" has been designed to break down Indians' reluctance to discuss condom use and to make wearing a condom more acceptable. Organisers of the campaign, funded by the foundation set up by Microsoft mogul Bill Gates and his wife Melinda, hope the ringtone will become a craze among young Indians. About 2.5 million people live with HIV in India, said the BBC World Service Trust, the charity behind the ringtone, which was released this month. It can be downloaded at condomcondom.org. "Ringtones have become such personal statements that a specially created condom ringtone seemed just the right way of combining a practical message with a fun approach," said Radharani Mitra, creative director of the BBC World Service Trust. "The idea is to tackle the inhibitions and taboos that can be associated with condoms." India is the world's fastest-growing mobile telephone market with 270 million users according to the latest official figures, up 57 percent in just one year. — AFP http://www.todayonline.com/articles/271737.asp
Condom ringtone launched in India (published at the end of this post)
As a development communicator, I find it is very difficult to get people to change their attitudes. How do you go about it? One way is to make the uncomfortable, the taboo subject or word part of everyday vacabulary, make it commonplace.
I was happy to see the condom and the parrot ad on TV. It is done with a sense of fun and I am so glad that they put the sari clad mami in.
When I started out in journalism, way back in the late Seventies, the chief reporter, (now they call the breed Metro Editor) threw a fit when I used the word 'rape' in a news report. He struck it out and wrote "outraged a woman's modesty". I objected. "The phrase in no way states what the word 'rape' does," I told him. He said, "Our's is a respectable paper, we do not use words like that!" Even in the late Seventies and early Eighties, Delhi saw a number of incidents of rape. and everytime I reported on a case I used the word 'rape'. He finally stopped crossing it out!
Sexual harassment was referred to as 'eve-teasing', a terrible expression that masks the enormity of the crime and the way a woman feels when she is sexually harassed. I am glad to see that the terrible phrases have been knocked off from our vocabulary and reportage. Let us say it the way it is. A condom is a part of adult life. Let us behave like adults. Now all I wait for is: A R Rehman to set music to a song on condoms in a Bollywood tamasha. That would proclaim our ultimate comfort level.
Condom ringtone launched in India
August 2008:A cellphone ringtone that chants "condom, condom!" has been launched in India to promote safe sex and tackle the growing HIV/AIDS epidemic. The "condom a cappella" has been designed to break down Indians' reluctance to discuss condom use and to make wearing a condom more acceptable. Organisers of the campaign, funded by the foundation set up by Microsoft mogul Bill Gates and his wife Melinda, hope the ringtone will become a craze among young Indians. About 2.5 million people live with HIV in India, said the BBC World Service Trust, the charity behind the ringtone, which was released this month. It can be downloaded at condomcondom.org. "Ringtones have become such personal statements that a specially created condom ringtone seemed just the right way of combining a practical message with a fun approach," said Radharani Mitra, creative director of the BBC World Service Trust. "The idea is to tackle the inhibitions and taboos that can be associated with condoms." India is the world's fastest-growing mobile telephone market with 270 million users according to the latest official figures, up 57 percent in just one year. — AFP http://www.todayonline.com/articles/271737.asp
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